A quick google search of “Emperor tarot card meanings” will yield over 800,000 results, the vast majority of which include the following key words: “Father figure, masculine, male, authority, establishment, demanding, rules with strength and force, rigid, stubborn, authoritarian, struggles to show affection, dominance of logic over emotion”. In most tarot decks The Emperor is depicted as an older white man with a long gray beard. For as long as I've been studying tarot, I have struggled to accept and integrate the imagery and associated energy of The Emperor. When The Emperor would come up in a reading, my body would physically shrink in revulsion. I was raised in an extremely dysfunctional home by an abusive father. I struggled as a young Queer femme in a patriarchal Western culture that glorifies toxic masculinity and shuns the Divine Feminine. There has never been a point in my life when I was able to resonate with the connotations surrounding The Emperor.
The Universe certainly has a strange sense of humor ~ so of course The Emperor is my birth card. As is Death, but that’s another story altogether. I have tried to find peace within The Emperor for literal decades. More often than not I would just ignore it completely. The Emperor began coming up regularly in my readings in 2018. In 2019 I was starting to seriously dread 2020 as it is numerically an Emperor year. In December 2019 I was gifted "The Modern Witch Tarot" by a supportive and loving family member. It is a phenomenal deck with an abundance of rich ethnic, racial and gender diversity. With the assistance of this deck, I made the decision to lean in to my discomfort surrounding The Emperor. I did more research, meditated, had conversations with trusted friends and mentors, pulled the Emperor again and again trying desperately to find a path towards trusting the energy.
The first six months of our collective 2020 Emperor year have been exceedingly bizarre, to say the absolute least. In the midst of all the tumult of Covid, the chaos of the brutal televised murder of George Floyd and subsequent uprising, in the middle of Pride Month, I at long last found my sanctuary in the Emperor.
I was blessed to receive a scholarship to an immersive tarot course taught by Lindsay Mack in April 2020 (double Emperor. The Universe laughs and laughs). In my studies during this course I was privileged to find myself going deeper on a personal journey with the tarot than I had ever been before, which is strange to say as previous to 2020 I considered myself a proficient tarot worker with a deep understanding of the cards. The Emperor showed up for me in my grief, despair and confusion as a profound ally. I discovered that The Emperor, to me, is the unyielding mountains, the unwavering sequoias, the expansive and vast skies that move on their own aligned timing regardless of what anyone else may want from them. The Emperor is the Raven soaring high into the heavens, unafraid of taking up sacred space. The Emperor is not forceful or rigid, they are deeply rooted and secure in their own personal power. They know what it is to be overlooked and not cared for properly, and to show up wholly as themselves just the same. The Emperor energy is that of full and complete acceptance of self, of all the broken parts that we have hidden away in shame. The Emperor is the power of leaning in to the medicine of what it means to be a Queer femme with a history of abuse and trauma. The Emperor never says “follow me”, they say “I’ll go first to make sure the path is safe for everyone else”. The Emperor is a non binary Queer hard femme that is not afraid of themselves or of the world ~ even if that world may not yet understand it when The Emperor displays their audacity by showing up as who they were always meant to be. The Emperor is a reclamation of Queer Pride and a trusted source of expansive and intuitive knowing of self.
Today I’m honored to have the The Emperor as my birth card and my Queer Pride card. I’m not even mad it took me over three decades to get here.